Happy Candlenights, everybody! This year's curse-free Candlenights spectacular isn't a live show, but it's pretty merry all the same. Please enjoy what turned out to be an in-depth teardown of the supernatural being known as Santa Clause, which -- DANG IT. We can't NOT spell it that way.

Suggested talking points: Stuck Santa, Wrapping Preservation, Fashion Santa, Hallmark Madness, Star King, Rudolph's Vindication, Toys for Dogs and Babies

This episode sure is like a hurricane folks! We're scopin' the horizon and we're seeing a duck blur! Forewarning: brace your ears for the most terrifying impressions known to man. Also, a lot of Juggalo talk.

Suggested Talking Points: DuckTales Scope, Buchin’, Bounce House Castle In The Clouds, Monkey LaLa Regrets, Squirrel Biscuits, DogsOnly Dot Com, Juggalo Family Values, Full Coverage Chug

It’s another mostly sleep deprived episode this week, so please enjoy our nearly incoherent ramblings about Japanese reality shows, Prince’s vault of personalized music and an outline for a new, Oscar-worthy installment in the Home Alone franchise.

Suggested talking points: Terrace House and Piss Tales, Pseudonym, When Doves Actually Cry, Jinglepockets, Wrestling Identities, Sext Mystery, Three-way Godzilla Battle

Lay back. Close your eyes. Prepare yourself for a journey into sleep, guided by the McElroy Brothers and sponsored by Casper. ASMR? You know it. Stunts? You betcha. Distinctive oil stink? No sir.

WARNING: DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

It's our first episode as all dads, and it's kind of a club banger? Like, you can probably chalk that up to the sleepless delirium that two of the three of us are undergoing, but maybe it's just a manifestation of that good, good lifelong responsibility.

Suggested talking points: Dadvice, Young Lovers, Food Pic Stealer, Where Everybody Knows Your Name, Cool Weed Tricks, Touched By An Old Angel, While You Were Sleeping Fans, Courtesy Ginger Ale, Ducking Punches